I was shopping a few days ago in an unfamiliar supermarket. I went to get kitchen paper and turned to find a wall of pet food/toys/accessories etc. Right in front of me, at eye level, were the same rawhides that Meisje loved. Skinny things - uncoloured, unflavoured - chewsticks that had been taken off the market in Australia for some reason, replaced by soft red and green coloured sticks.
My hand reached out to grab a packet, instinctively. Then curled to a tight fist and retreated as I remembered, she's no longer with me. But again, a split second later, I reached out thinking I'll just post them to Mum and she can give them to my girl. And again... withdrew my hand quickly as the second, more concrete remembering came to me. She's no longer anywhere. Meisje is no longer...
It's hard to stand, frozen in a busy supermarket, trying to swallow, blinking wildly to keep your eyes dry, your legs uncooperative and stubborn.
I keep hoping these moments will become fewer and fewer....
6 comments:
Hugs Greer. She lives on in those moments of remembering. I hope they will become less teary and more happy eventually.
Thanks Lin... me too.
.....ma belle...
x
i come in late in this, but my heart rages with love and sorrow for you and your missing, beautiful z. it is a very difficult place to stand.
Oh Annie - thank you. My eyes welled up again reading this. New skin might take a while to grow over this one.. I miss her so much.
xx
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